Strength For Today

A journey of keeping my heart, mind, and body in TODAY

Made To Crave – Week 1

on January 19, 2014

Made To Crave: Online Bible Study – Week 1 Journal

My Word:

Empowered:

I have to be honest and say that this word is not resonating with me right now.  I will have to pray and reflect on this word to see what God has in mind for me.

Today (1/20/14) I looked up “empower” in the dictionary, and this is what I found:

em·pow·er

 transitive verb \im-ˈpau̇(-ə)r\

: to give power to (someone)

: to give official authority or legal power to (someone)

My initial reaction was a bit surprising.  I felt a twinge of that’s not right…I don’t have any power over my bulimia (which is the brokenness God is working on in me right now).  So, my impulsive thought was that I was NOT going to focus on this word this week, as I felt it was the opposite of how I wanted to feel, or think, about this new journey.  Notice I said, IMPULSIVE THOUGHT, and INITIAL REACTION.  Thank the LORD, I no longer stop at my impulsive thoughts or reactions anymore.  I took the word a bit deeper in my heart, and I also noticed that our actual word this week is “empowered” not just “empower”.  This simple suffix made all the difference in my perception.  When I think of the word “empower”, I think of myself being the one to give power or authority to someone or something.  But…..when I think of the word “empowered”, I think of someone else having the power and GIVING it to ME.  Ok, stick with me here….  I’m thinking of the verse Philippians 4:13 right now… I can do all things through Christ who STRENGTHENS me.    Christ STRENGTHENS me… Christ EMPOWERS me to fight this fight.  He gives me the power I need to get through this journey, one step at a time.  It is NOT my power, but the power that CHRIST releases within me, that will keep me steady….one wobbly step at a time!!

Psalm 84:2, My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord, my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
yearn:  to long for something persistently
courts of the Lord:  heaven
cry out: desperation
living God: Christ!
YES!  My soul DOES cry out for Jesus!  I do long for the day that I walk in the presence of my Savior in heaven! I desperately long to be near Him, all day long, in every circumstance I face!  I CRAVE the Lord!!!  Amen

God, I pray you would guide me in understanding this verse at a deeper level.  I pray that you would etch this verse on my heart and that I would be able to fully live out the heart behind the words.  In Jesus!  Amen

My Prayer:

Father God!  As I walk into this study, Made to Crave, I am filled with many feelings.  Lord, you know my heart.  You know my struggles with food and with replacing the craving for YOU with cravings for things that give me physical and TEMPORARY satisfaction.  Lord, you have given me such a gift of showing me that ALL these things have and will continue to leave me empty.  God, there is nothing and NO ONE that can fill my heart and soul’s deepest longings like You can!  Help me to grasp that understanding at the heart level.  Help me to walk away from all things that pull me away from You.  Lord, I pray to be drawn into a deeper, more intimate relationship with you through this journey.  Grant me strength to do Your will, and Your will alone.  It is in the name of Jesus that I pray!  Amen

My Goal:

This week, my goal is to continue the disciplined food plan I have been following, and to attend one of the live M2C sessions.


 (I entered into a ‘fast’ 2 weeks ago, and have not had one urge to binge thus far.  I think that one of the reasons God called me into this fast was to change my eating habits.  I have been crying out to Him recently to guide me in my eating.  I do not believe this to be a coincidence.)

UPDATE on WEEK 1 (1/27/2014)

My Thoughts:  

Overall this week was a good week.  I felt that I stuck to my food plan well and I didn’t have any urges to binge.  I purchased an exercise app, and used it several times this week.  It is a good workout, and even my children enjoy doing it with me.  I am excited about that!

My Victories:  

No urges to binge and purge!!  No cravings for sugar!! (officially 20 days without)

My Prayer:

God, I continue to lift this journey up to you!  I continue to rely fully on you to bring me through the yuck of bulimia and into full recovery!  I praise you for this week’s victories, as I know they are NOT my own!  I cannot do any of this on my own!  You are constantly doing for me, that which I cannot do for myself. Thank You Father, for always knowing what is best for Your children! In Jesus I pray! Amen

My Notes:  

Chapters 1-3 have been great reading!  I am learning so much about myself and my food choices, food cycles, food obsession!  In chapter 1, I learned that my craving for God HAS to replace my craving for food!  I have also learned that craving ANYTHING more than I crave Him,  is sinful.  In chapter 2, I  learned that “vowing to do better” will never work.  I have also learned that “waiting until tomorrow” is a great illusion.  I have learned that in order to fully recover I have to admit my struggle completely.  I cannot hide from it.  I understand that God has been calling me into recovery in this area for quite a while.  I have to surrender this to Him in the same way I have surrendered other areas of my life.  I have learned that I have to make this about something bigger than just myself.  Lysa confirmed for me that replacing my cravings for food with cravings for God is the only solution that is going to work!  Prayer is powerful, and it DOES WORK.  Chapter 3 helped me outline a healthy food plan, and make a commitment to stick to it.  I have to realize that there are some foods that I just have to stay away from in order to remain in a healthy place. I am in this, 100%, and I am excited for this journey to continue!  Bring it on, WEEK 2!!

“My Thoughts, My Victories, My Prayers, My Notes, and My Extra Notes”

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