Strength For Today

A journey of keeping my heart, mind, and body in TODAY

Made To Crave Blog Hop 101 – Jesus Saves!

on January 20, 2014

I grew up a Catholic, knowing that God was real and that Jesus died on the cross.  I went to church every week.  My parents did their best to raise me right.  I attended Catholic school until I was in the 8th grade.  I heard all the stories about Jesus, but none of it seemed real.  It was all like a fairy tale, or perhaps a history account, but not something that I thought I could relate my own life to.

As I got older I walked away from the church, and attended only on holidays or when my mother gave me enough grief.  I got married in the church in 2002, because my mother expected it.  I baptized each of my children in the church.  Again, it was because it was expected.  My daughter got old enough to attend CCD in 2008, so her father and I thought it best to sign her up, and do our best to attend church again.  We went here and there.  Right smack dab in the middle of that time, our marriage began to dissolve, and we became separated in 2010.  Once again, I pulled away from the church.  I found no joy in attending church.  My mind was wandering to other things when the priest talked.  I didn’t understand scripture, so the message behind the readings was lost in translation.  I physically showed up and sat in a pew from time to time, but mentally and emotionally, I was disconnected.

It wasn’t until I hit a physical, emotional, and spiritual “bottom” that I began to honestly assess my spirituality, and seek out a different way to live my life.  The self-sufficient, independent, strong woman I had worked so hard to become, had fallen away.  I was defeated.  My body, my mind, my heart, and my spirit were bankrupt.  I was desperate for another way.  I became a “seeker” in 2011.  I started looking for a way to achieve inner peace amidst the chaos of what had become my life.  It was at a retreat in March of 2011 that I received a Bible, and the beautiful message that I could not forgive myself until I first recognized and received the forgiveness of my Savior.  I began to wonder who this “Jesus” man really was, and I started to develop a relationship with Him.

I started to spend time journaling and reading the Bible.  I asked a Bible-believing friend of mine to help me understand the Bible, because I had found it so confusing, and honestly I was intimidated to read it.  She did, and I began in the book of John.  I also entered into a 21-day “Awakening” fast, where I read and journaled my way through scripture for 21 days, alongside a food fast.  It was transformative, and by the time the fast was over, I had fully committed my life to the leadership of the Lord, Jesus Christ.

It is 2014, and I have not looked back.  I have continued to walk alongside my Savior, yearning for His presence on a daily basis.  He has given me strength to overcome the disease of alcoholism,significant loss, divorce, bankruptcy, manipulative and toxic relationships, and is currently helping me trudge through the muck of bulimia. He has redeemed me from a promiscuous past, a prideful heart, materialism, the constant need for approval and validation from others, people pleasing, and my performance-driven nature.  He has set me on solid ground and has given me a new life, through Christ’s birth, life, death, and resurrection! He has freely given me Grace and Strength enough for today.  It is in my todays that He shows up and works out the plan He has laid out before me.  It is in my todays that He creates me into the woman I was always intended to be.  I am a constant work in progress, and thank my precious LORD, He isn’t done with me yet!


5 responses to “Made To Crave Blog Hop 101 – Jesus Saves!

  1. Lauren says:

    What an awesome testimony! Thank you for sharing!
    Lauren, P31 OBS blog hop team

  2. Ray says:

    As I am reading your testimony I am thanking God for saving you from the things of this world. Great to know that you are dedicating your life to Christ as I did a few years back after a hurtful break-up. This relationship was not of God because everything I did in this relationship was sin. So I am thankful for the way he positions people in our lives to help us say YES to his WORD “rededicating our lives to him” not only to please others or to fulfill an obligation but to truly seek his face. It is a journey “process” and I do not ever want to go back to my past behaviors.
    I Pray you continue to seek his face and to never turn/look back.

    With God’s Love- Ray

  3. Robin N. says:

    I am stopping by from the Blog Hop and I want to thank you for sharing your testimony! I, too, have gone through some “rock bottom” life events, including divorce, and it is so easy sometimes to separate yourself from God because it is such a heavy burden to carry. But, it seems that it is in those moments (to quote singer Josh Wilson) “I find you (God) when I fall apart.” I’m so glad you found God on your journey. He is the best partner in life we can have! Blessings to you my dear sister in Christ!

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