Strength For Today

A journey of keeping my heart, mind, and body in TODAY

You Don’t See Like I Do

on January 21, 2014

For years, I was plagued with the inability to confront difficult situations. I could not take the “bull by the horns” and deal with it head on. I had no healthy way to express my feelings, therefore everything that was difficult became a huge issue for me. Nevermind a ‘challenge’. For me, even the little things had crisis-potential, because I just couldn’t deal with it like a normal person. (what is ‘normal’ anyway??)

I also avoided conflict like the plague. I would not confront people when I needed to, and if I did confront, it was always over-the-top aggressive in tone and words. I had a very sharp tongue, and very little skill at conflict resolution.

Along with my new way of choosing to live comes new responsibilities. I can no longer avoid difficult situations. I can’t hide from confrontation anymore either. In fact, God continues to provide me with ways to practice my conflict resolution skills. Isn’t it just like Him to provide opportunity after opportunity for me to grow in this area?

Tonight was one such situation. I was presented with a very difficult situation. One I used to avoid at all costs. There is a certain person in my life , which I have devoted years constantly trying to ‘keep happy’. To do that, I’ve kept quiet when I’ve wanted to talk, I’ve gone over the top doing things to try to appease this person, I’ve even made relationship decisions based on keeping the peace between myself and this person!

In the past, even when this person was wrong, I kept quiet. Or I would lash out aggressively in rebuttal. There was never healthy conflict  between us because I had no ability to face it. I was a coward!

So, I just love when God gives me a mountaintop view of where I have come from and where I am now! It is such a gift! Tonight, this person and I got into a pretty big disagreement. I knew that what was being said did not line up with what God calls us to say and do. I had a responsibility to speak up , to speak truth. And I did. It was not easy, but it was healthy , and the conflict was resolved.  At least for today.

God knows what He is doing. I’m grateful He has placed people in my life who don’t see like I do, because then I get a whole new perspective.  I did not handle tonight perfectly, but the difference between how I used to deal (or not deal) with conflict, and how I did it today….that’s progress. And today, it’s all about progress.

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