Strength For Today

A journey of keeping my heart, mind, and body in TODAY

Emotional Triggers

on February 21, 2014

I am currently involved in a study called “Made to Crave”, which surrounds the idea of craving God more than I crave anything else in my life.

I want that to be a true statement.  No, I long – yearn desperately for that statement to be TRUE!

I tell myself it is true.  I say, “Yes, God!  Anything you want from me, and I am in!!” —  and I truly think I mean it.  Then, something will happen:  I wake up late, or I have a stressful morning, or I have a stressful afternoon, or the kids aren’t listening, or I’m missing my fiance, or I get bad news somewhere along the line….the list can go on forever.  Whatever “it” is, something happens.

Yesterday was a day of somethings.  I didn’t wake up late, but our morning was stressful. My daughter slipped on the ice as we were leaving, fell down the stairs, got soaked, had to change – and as a result, we missed the bus, I had to drive my children to school, and I was late for work – where everything seemed to be falling down all around me, I couldn’t get my mind to center on the place I was, the stress mounted, and I was left feeling restless, irritable, and discontent.  And all I could think of to “solve” my emotional turmoil???  FOOD!

Really Dawn?!?!?!?!?!?

The thing that creates the biggest frustration for me, is that I was aware of my intense craving for food to satisfy.  My awareness was key and I actually battled well for most of the day.  Until I didn’t.

Sugar.  When I am in emotional crisis (or at least my brain thinks I am, and sends this ridiculous craving “to be comforted “to my stomach) I think about sugar.  And when I allow myself to give into that thought, I instantly want more – the phenomenon of craving instantly develops.  So, yesterday, I ate a piece of chocolate.  Seems harmless, right?  Well, the piece of chocolate led to an “Airhead”, which led to another, which led to a craving for more.

I got home, where some spaghetti was waiting for me with some delicious tomato sauce (both contain sugar).  I started eating and couldn’t stop.  Not until my stomach wanted to burst.  And, if you have been following my journey at all, you know what happened next.  Following that moment, I instantly started searching the house for more sugar.  Anything.  I would have eaten it.  It wasn’t until I was so tired that I couldn’t stand it – that I finally fell asleep.  But, not without first beating myself over the head emotionally.

Really Dawn?!?!?!?!?!?

I want that to be a true statement.  No, I long – yearn desperately for that statement to be TRUE! I love the Lord, and I want to crave Him above anything and EVERYTHING else in my life!

It is apparent to me that I have a long journey ahead of me.  Just when I think I might be making some progress, old triggers pop up – and I see that I am still reacting the same way I always did – when I am not spiritually fit.

I think that is the key.  Starting my day off by strengthening my heart and mind with God’s Word.  I didn’t do that yesterday.  Reflection is everything I hope.  So, today, I am choosing something different.  I am choosing to start my day by focusing on God, and MAKING Him the center of my morning.  Whatever comes my way, I can face it through Him.  If my emotions trigger a CRAVING, I am going to intentionally choose the Word, because my reactions are still to choose food.

I pray that this journey creates within me a desire so intense for God, that one day I just automatically go to Him for everything.  Just so you don’t think I am a total downer….I want you to know that I have come a long way.  I am nowhere NEAR where I used to be, but still so far from where I want to be….so, I guess I will just keep my feet in today.

Matthew 6:31-34 is my “armor” for today:

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’   For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do no worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Yes, I leave you this morning…. SEEKING HIS KINGDOM AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS FIRST!!!

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6 responses to “Emotional Triggers

  1. homeskoolmom says:

    Yes, it’s so easy to go to the food isn’t it? I think of the Bob Newhart bit on where he portrayed a psychologist. His advice to his clients was, “STOP IT! Just STOP IT! I’m remembering to STOP going to the food. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

    • Great idea…S.T.O.P Start Turning (it) Over Please!!!! I am going to use that acronym! When I think “STOP”, I will think of turning it over to Christ, for HIM to take over instead of me!!! Thank you for inspiring that!

  2. I love your honesty. Nobody is perfect except for Him!
    One day at a time:) I look forward to the Holy Spirit’s message through you every day! This blog is part of my morning meditation! God bless!

  3. We are indeed a work in progress and we are so fortunate to have such an amazingly patient and loving Father. He knows our hearts and He knows all to well the trials we face. And He is there, with new mercies every morning so we can begin afresh one step at a time!! Thanks for being so honest and vulnerable!! Blessings to you on this journey.

    Trish (P31 OBS Blog Hop Team)

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