Strength For Today

A journey of keeping my heart, mind, and body in TODAY

Letter to My Daughter

Recently, I got married for the second time.  My new husband and I went on a beautiful honeymoon to Colorado, and were gone for exactly 8 days.  I have a daughter who is turning 11 soon, and who really struggled with the separation.  It was a challenge for her to accept that I was going to be gone, but more importantly that she was going to have to stay the entire week with her dad.  She loves her dad, don’t get me wrong.  But, he’s just not her mom.  And she is at a stage in her life when she really needs and wants her mom.  We engaged in many conversations surrounding my upcoming absence before the wedding day.  We shed some tears together, we prayed together, and we anxiously awaited the day, together.  It made for some wonderful mother-daughter bonding time.  But, unfortunately, when the day came ~ all those conversations didn’t take away the pain.  My daughter struggled to hold back her tears as we drove to meet her dad the day after the wedding.  And when we finally did get to the place we were meeting him, the dam broke ~ and my girl was sobbing uncontrollably in my arms.  It was difficult, to say the least.  And the fact that her dad completely opposes my decision to remarry complicated things a bit as well.  Finally, I reminded her how God was going to stretch and strengthen our Faith and love for one another during this time, and I was on my way.

I don’t know if you know anything about “Mom Guilt”… but wow, did it dig its ugly claws into my heart on that ride back to my new husband.  I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to release my daughter of her sadness and fill her with His joy!  I know she is at such a vulnerable and sensitive stage in her life right now.  Her body is growing and changing, and her mind and heart are overflowing with emotions that she is not yet equipped to understand or deal with effectively.

Fast forwarding a few days, she did struggle the first day or two that I was gone, but eventually she came around and was able to enjoy herself at her dad’s house.  As I was driving home from my honeymoon, I called her.  She and I had said that we would write to one another, and neither one of us had actually done it.  So, we decided to write a letter to each other that day.  As my new husband drove, I wrote.  Words began flowing from my heart to the page.  I began to write to her with a passion that came out of the clear blue.  Once my pen started moving, I just couldn’t stop.  It was as if the Spirit Himself were whispering the words in my ears.  Words of love and encouragement.  Words of wisdom and hope.  Words that I hope she will reflect on as she continues to grow up … words that I sincerely wish someone had taken the time to share with me when I was her age.  I wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to share the heart-felt words I wrote to my daughter on that ride home.  But the fact that maybe even just ONE mother will read them and feel so inspired to share with her own daughter gave me such a case of the goose bumps that I had to share.  So here goes:

“A Letter to My Daughter”

 

Dear Daughter,

Hi beautiful girl!  Let me start this letter off by saying that I am extremely proud of you for everything you are and everything you are becoming.  You are in such a precious stage in life.  This is a very delicate phase in a girl’s life.  It is the place where you are caught between a young woman, and a child.  You are really neither one, and yet you are both.  You have feelings and emotions related to each.  This can be a very confusing time, especially for girls ~ and I am so blessed to watch you navigate through it.

The most important part of this season of your life (as well as every other season) is going to be your relationship with The Lord. The health of your relationship with God is going to determine how you view yourself, how you view others in your life, and how you handle life’s many challenges and changes.  If you have a strong connection with the Lord, you are going to recognize your True Beauty and Worth.  You will KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that YOU are a daughter of the MOST HIGH KING, and you are perfectly LOVED, perfectly VALUED, perfectly ACCEPTED, and ADORED.  You will know that you are worth MORE than diamonds or rubies, simply and profoundly BECAUSE you are HIS.  You will understand that the people in your life each love you the best way they can ~ which may look and feel very different from one person to the next.

If your relationship with God is strong, the way that others love you will always be filtered through God’s Grace and Mercy.  So, regardless of how well or how poorly the people in your life show you love – you will ALWAYS feel beautifully and wonderfully LOVED.  For it is ONLY through the lens of God’s Amazing Love – His Grace, Mercy, and Forgiveness – that we are able to received and give love at all.  If you choose to place God first each and every day, you will be able to handle every circumstance that comes your way!  God has such a beautiful way of taking every situation and creating beauty from it.  The wonderful and amazing part is that we can not understand how He does it, but FAITH tells us that He does and will continue to work out all things for the GOOD of those who LOVE Him!

Baby girl, you are a precious and beautiful child of God!  I pray that you will allow nothing to take the place of the Lord in your life. He will always be there for you and He will never let you down.  Every single relationship you ever have on this Earth will disappoint you at some level (yes…even me).  Only God will never disappoint you!

My sweet sweet daughter, as you enter this next stage of your life – know that I will be praying for you every single day for your relationship with God to grow stronger and stronger!  Know that your friends will come and go – your physical beauty will constantly change – your life will have both good and bad times.  Your relationships will succeed, and some will fail.  You will enjoy some things, and you will strongly dislike others.  Some days you will feel successful, and other days you will feel like you can’t do anything right.  People will please you, and they will disappoint you.  They will be pleased with you, and some will be disappointed by you.

Through it all, NO MATTER WHAT, I love you.  Every single day I love you.  On your good days, I love you.  On your rough days, I love you.  When you are happy with me, and when you are upset with me, I love you.  When you are happy, and when you are crabby, I love you.  Every day – ALL THE TIME – I LOVE YOU.

And if I, your mom, just a human being, can love you that much and that constant ~ imagine how much your Father in Heaven LOVES YOU!!!! More than you could ever think, say, or imagine!  Miss you every single moment I am not with you baby girl!!!

Love You Always More & More,

Mommy

Advertisements
2 Comments »

The Years the Locusts Have Eaten

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten – the great locust and the young locust swarm — my great army that I sent among you.  You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed.  Then you will know that I am in Israel, that I am the Lord your God, and that there is no other; never again will my people be shamed.”  ~Joel 2:25-27 

 

God has been bringing this Truth to my mind and heart quite a bit recently.  I am so eternally grateful to have eyes that can see God’s truth as it unfolds!  He has truly been restoring the years that the locusts have eaten in my life over the past 4 years!   Everything that I once thought was gone, He has replaced with His abundance!  That which was once lost, has been found.  All that I thought was wrong, has been made right.  The darkness has become Light.  The fear has been replaced with trust.  My life is truly amazing today.  At this juncture, it is impossible for me to wrap my words around the amazing Goodness that IS GOD.  I cannot write about all that He has done just yet, but I will.  And when I do, His story will unfold like the wings of a delicate beautiful butterfly – as the new life emerges from the cocoon – and the new creation flutters its wings for the first time, and flies FREE.

Leave a comment »

Can’t Heal Myself

Why do I continue to try to battle my demons alone?

Have you ever thought about this question?  Is this a question you ask yourself?  I wonder, because it is a question that I find myself asking more often than I would like to admit.

One of the first thing you see when you walk into many centers where recovery gatherings take place, is a sign that reads “You Are Not Alone”.  It is such a powerful truth, one that many desperate alcoholics cling to as they emerge from their darkness and into the light.  It is TRUTH.  We are NOT alone.

I am not alone.

Then, why do I feel like it sometimes?  Why do I act like it sometimes?  Why do I CHOOSE it sometimes?  I mean, here I am, 16 days from my wedding and just moving into a house that is in complete disarray.  I know I am stressed.  I know that I am not in a healthy thinking place.  So, why is it that I continue to try to battle through it on my own?

God never intended for us to be alone.  He didn’t.  He intended us to walk in fellowship, to engage in relationship – first and foremost with Him.  That is no where I am right NOW.

I was there yesterday, at least for most of it.  Just this morning, I was there – walking side by side with my Creator.  What happened between now and then?

I started engaging in selfish and self-seeking thoughts.  My character defects started to surface, and instead of putting the kibosh on them, I let them hand around for a while.  I let the door open just a crack, but I forgot how insistent they are.  All they need is a cracked door.  Those flaws of mine came pouring in like water from a fire hose.  At that point, there was nothing I could do to stop it.

What happened when a water hose sprays something?  It gets wet.  And I am WET.  My character defects drenched the joy right out of my day.  They took me captive and overran my territory.  Why? Because I let them.  I gave Satan a foothold, and he climbed right on board.  I wasn’t paying enough attention to my own walk, rather I was focusing on those around me.  I could see their issues popping up all over the place, but I missed my own.  Go figure.

And now I am going to have to work again to get them back down to size.

I’m starting with a gratitude list, as suggested by a wonderful friend of mine:

I am grateful for:

waking up this morning and not “coming to”

my Salvation

my recovery

having 3 healthy children

having a job

having a car

having a home

having a man who wants to spend forever with me

soon to have 3 step-sons

supportive family and friends

people blessing us over and over again for our wedding

time to sit and write this

willingness to go beyond my self-imposed limitations

stretching my faith

praising Him in the storms

wonderful friends in my life

quiet time

the Bible

facebook

sleep….

 

Have a Blessed Day!  What are you grateful for today?

Leave a comment »