Strength For Today

A journey of keeping my heart, mind, and body in TODAY

It’s Not My Fault

on August 24, 2014

I have been doing some thinking this morning. Pondering, really – over this beautiful life that I get to lead today. I have been considering where I stand and contemplating where I stood.  I have been quietly reflecting on what it used to be like, what happened, and what it is like today.  And I have decided, that it is NOT my fault!

For the past week or so, I have been studying the book of Hebrews.  I’ve been doing it in community and on my own.  I have been asking God to reveal to me that which HE wants me to understand.  And I think that He is reminding me, this amazing place I sit today has NOTHING to do with me, and EVERYTHING to do with Him.  He is the One who has done it, not me.

If my life were of my own making, I would still be stuck in the shameful, sinful ways I used to live.  On my own, I am a sinful woman, filled with desires of the flesh – and behaviors which today, quite plainly, disgust me. On my own, I can still be that woman if I choose to.  I can still let the desires of my flesh devour the peace that has taken root in my heart.  I can follow any path I choose, as a matter of fact.  If it were up to ME – just Dawn, apart from God – I’d probably still be making the same poor choices and walking the same dark roads.

But, thankfully, it isn’t up to me anymore.  I took that burden off my shoulders when I surrendered my life to Christ.  I removed from myself the RIGHT to live in my sins when I CHOSE To give everything I am to Him.  Today, this life I lead – this amazing life, abundant with beautiful things – this life is CLEARLY not MY FAULT.  It is not my doing, not my design, not my intended way to live.  And I am so grateful for that.

I am in awe of the way God works.  The changes He has made inside of my heart which have overflowed into my outward “self”, still simply amaze me.  And I hope it always does.  The way I live today, the choices I make, the words I say, even the thoughts I think – none of it is ME.  It is all Him.  And I’ve never been happier or felt more FREE than I do today.  Simply one of the most amazing paradoxes.  I DIE to myself daily, so that I can live truly FREE.

I am so grateful today.  Words cannot express the true depth of the gratitude I feel, but hopefully this gives you just a taste. Life WITH God in control, is truly that.  LIFE.

 

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